Note: October 6th post restored from archive.is
Here I sit. Here I sit, gut knotted over my inadequacy at the job I came to Uruguay to do. Pizarro sits in crisis unable with some boxes facing the apparent impossibility of getting any nines of uptime this month and the first week isn't even over. I sit gut rumbling, it seems to be hunger yet I have no appetite at all.
a few brief hours uncertainty seemed liberating.
Then another round of packets came. Packets described only by a poorly labeled histogram. I sit in a profound falta1
I volunteered for the Uruguay mission to save Qntra. Inside or outide of the Republic, the body of work I have written for Qntra gives me more pride than anything else I have done. Ever since Qntra came back online in 2018, my time has been torn between Qntra and Pizarro in some way. Every problem or struggle I though I had with Qntra before it went down September 25th, 2017 has been dwarfed by Pizarro's challenges. If teleology was a thing, I'd be inclined to believe Qntra is my life's purpose.
My failure to cleanly get a viable ISP up and running on my own lead to a number of my fellows in the Republic trying to make something of the ashes. After a few months, I found my inadequate self being given unguided command once again last September. The lack of effective peacetime sales outreach means the cost of doing effective wartime sales outreach is high.
I will do what I can this coming week to see if I can save Pizarro. More hangs on whether or not our datacenter can grow into the task of providing Internet Service when they weather grows rough. Honestly, my sense of optimism is about as tempered as dogshit in a mud puddle.
>Uruguay's grace is that it isn't the United States, but that is an incredibly low bar for grace. Grass fed lengua de novillo prepared as a pot roast on the balcony stove this past Wednesday is Soviet Uruguay's grace and its damnation. Uruguay achieves excellence at what it does well: cattle, dairy, rice, and olive oil. Everywhere else they encumber themselves in socialism, pretense, socialistic pretense, and "Hurr durr GINI Index, Hurr durr Human Development Coefficient" to the point other Latinos that arrived here chasing jobs or welfare have started abandoning ship.
If Pizarro fails, I would still like to carve out some sort of Republican fief here, for the resistance of the medium if nothing else. I don't know if I can continue to make camp in Uruguay on Qntra alone or in combination with the local economy of faltas. Maybe I breed rabbits as the Editor Emeritus in Cheif once did? Today, the blank slate of the future fills me with nausea and terror, but God as I understand him willing, I will go to sleep sober if nauseous.